The British have a word in their vocabulary that no other word can cover…it’s the word “gutted” Meaning: To be ‘gutted’ about a situation means to be devastated and saddened.
This word perfectly describes the tarot Three of Swords. Many of us encounter this devastated feeling at least once in our life and soon after find that subconsciously, we try very hard to scoop up the remains and put them all back where they belong, often with little to no success.
This was often the case in my (familial) line and sadly led to more than just a few emotionally damaged individuals who tried to repair such emptiness with alcohol and/or other addictions.
As a witness to this behavior as a child, I made sure that I would not take the same path in my life, knowing the consequences firsthand. I was lucky, I survived, but watched helplessly as one of my children struggled with the roller coaster ride of ups and downs, as only the one who is caught in addiction can turn their lives around….no matter how hard a parent wants to help.
The Knight of Swords often comes up to remind me that there is a fine line for those who wear their hearts on their sleeves, we internalize our pain and it so easily can slip over into the hazy realm of trying to numb it all rather than facing our heartache and reopening old wounds.
I guess the message for me today is this: Sometimes in order to heal, we must examine our wounds even if it tears off the scabs, for if we do not reconcile that hole within ourselves, the damage will continue into all parts of our lives and old mindsets and outdated views can be passed on to our future generations without even being aware that it’s happening.
So, to those out there that might be struggling, as much as it hurts, embrace that part of yourself, be kind and allow yourself to heal… trying to hide from the pain will only end with the cycle being repeated again and again.